Yesterday, I attended the launch of the GSMA's Mobile Media Metrics project at the Imax cinema in London. On arrival I was handed a pair of 3D glasses.

My heart sank. Another reminder of the 3D revolution that I - who can only see in two dimensions - will take place without me.

Yes, ever since I was six I have seen the world in glorious 2D only. My right eye is completely buggered after an experiment involving stones and a hammer went badly wrong for a six year old boy (me). By the way, I wasn't on a chain gang, it just sounds like it.

As it was all so long ago I have no conception of what seeing in 3D must be like. To me the world is made up of two dimensional planes receding in space.

To my eye, Dolly Parton is as flat chested as Joey Barton until she turns to the side.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do have some conception of distance (clue: things appear smaller when they are further away), but it's not the same as it must be for all you smug bifocal readers.

It's tragic that I - the renowned cinephile - will never know the unique joys of My Booody Valentine 3D, but I can just about live with that.

In truth, my tragic visual shortcomings don''t cause me too many problems. For some reason small children are very confused by my rogue eye (they always look behind them to see who I'm actually talking to), and I'd advise you not to stand to my right - I'll only ignore you.

What worries me is going to Mobile World Congress in ten days' time to be confronted with an array of prototype 3D handsets.

Now, the public may well embrace 3D in the cinema and even on the (big) TV, but will they really put on glasses whenever they want to watch a YouTube clip on their phone? I think not.

But in my professional capacity as a mobile scribe, I still have to cover this stuff. And I'm certain we'll see loads of it in Barcelona. In fact, the Japanese already have at least one 3D device in the the market - the Hitachi WOOO Ketai H001 - so the 'revolution' has already begun.

Maybe I'll just pretend. Maybe, when the clip I'm watching includes a monster lurching towards the camera I'll flinch like everyone else instead of standing there arms folded.

In other words, I'll pretend to be impressed. Like I was at the launch of MMS, push-to-talk, mobile TV, the Levi's phone...