The World According To ME: Wherever will we put our stuff?

But is there a deeper meaning at work here?

Knowing that Will I Am divvies his time between the Peas and his executive role at Intel, I wonder if the subject he was addressing was actually digital detritus.

Junk is all around us – squillions of emails about knob size, pathetic Facebook wall updates asking 'if you were a cow what kind of cow you would be?', BBM broadcasts asking you to remember the victims of some massacre in a garden centre somewhere, Tweets reading 'I love Tuesday - it's my third favourite day'.

And then there's the biggest cause of digital waste pile-up of all: the five trillion strong mountain of Facebook 'duck face' pics.

Girls and young women of the world, I ask you this: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

As I understand it, the ridiculous habit of female pouting in photos started in Japan, where Ahiru-guchi (duck mouth) is considered very flattering.

It really isn't.

I have two teenage daughters, and they've both been through the mallard phase. Throughout it, I would tell them that boys don't find ducks attractive. Well, some do, but they're not marriage material.

But still the pics keep coming. Millions more every second (or seems like it).

Men are no better I suppose, with their own brand of 'next level digital shit' (those Peas again). This usually takes the form of temporary internet files, which can really build up when surfing for, er, academic texts.

Phones aren't helping stem the digital tsunami. My new Nokia Lumia has 16GB of memory and I worry it won't be enough. Apple introduces app folders, and still people fill up page after page with them.

Maybe we need uber-folders for all those folders.

I was at an event recently hosted by digital agency Fjord, at which one of the directors talked about the commercial potential for digital waste disposal management. The gist being that we'll need professional help trashing this stuff soon.

They might be on to something.

I can envisage a reality TV show along the lines of Life Laundry in which an empathetic middle aged yoga teacher called Carol helps nerds to let go of old PC files.

Carol: This clutter is holding you back from new kinds of programming. Until you let go of old files, you'll be forever stuck on Pascal.
Nerd: It's so painful. These programs remind me of ASII so much. And it's hard to believe it's gone. I was so happy then!
Carol: It's OK to cry.
Nerd (hysterical): Why does software have to change? Why can't it stay the same?
Carol: It's just life, Nerd. And also the in-built obsolescence of the avaricious tech business, pressuring us to consume consume consume till we die.
Nerd: Thanks Carol. That helps.
Carol: Now, let's check out those Temporary Internet Files
Nerd (diving in slow-motion): Noooooooo!!!!!!!!