We don't even have time to queue for stamps.
In the last few weeks there's been much excited debate among physicists following the revelation that neutrinos can travel faster than light. As any fool knows (and I'm counting ME readers in that demographic), this has deep implications for our understanding of the nature of the universe.
Einstein taught us that it takes infinite mass to accelerate any particle to the speed of light. Therefore nothing can move that fast. And anyway, going beyond the speed of light makes it possible to arrive somewhere before you appear to have left.
But if these pesky neutrinos are telling the truth, then Einstein was mistaken. The universe runs on different principles. And time travel is possible.
Well, I have another powerful argument for why it's possible to go back in time:
I've just been to the Post Office.
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Overseas readers may not fully comprehend the true nature of the UK's semi-nationalised postal organisation. So let me give you a clue. You may have heard of the dour Soviet-era film Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky. According to Wikipedia, it's about a 'mundane rural area scattered with ruined buildings, where the normal laws of physics no longer apply'.
Well, that's the Post Office. It's truly the business of the year – providing the year is 1942.
Joining a queue of the old and decrepit (insert joke here) all waiting patiently to buy 100 stamps each, I was reminded of just how fast technology changes our habits. How many people under 30 buy stamps now? Would they know which side to lick?
This week, we reported a survey by Mozy on the habits that technology is killing off. Paying bills at the post office was one of the 50 listed. And there were obvious ones such as recording on VHS, ringing the speaking clock, buying encyclopaedias.
But tucked among them were some more unexpected entries. At 37 was warming milk on a stove.
Some of the others were just sad. Apparently no one has pen friends any more. Maybe they use BBM.
"R U Frnch? U must be gay, den, innit."
And the survey claims people have stopped looking things up something in the dictionary. Shocking. If today's 11 year olds haven't got the time or inclination to look up 'vagina' in Webster's, then I truly don't know what the world is coming to.
But worst of all is the revelation that people no longer send love letters. What's wrong with everyone? Firing off a series of increasingly deranged missives to your dream girl until she repels your unwelcome advances with a court order is part of growing up isn't it?
I suppose it won't be long before court orders are sent via WhatsApp.
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