The World According To ME: Cloud-schmoud.

Surely this thrilling incident, that you've loved reading about so much, shows the value of the cloud, right?

Keep your stuff up there in data heaven and you need never worry about running out of space again. Or Word going wrong (although in this instance Microsoft was not guilty).

It's a strong argument. To which I say, Oh just fuck off.

I'm unconvinced by the cloud. For a start, what is it? There's a big difference between simple backed-up data and 'software as a service' and streaming services. It's all a bit confusing. And if I'm confused – I who know everything – what hope have idiot civilians got?

I can see the value in bits of it. Streaming is great for pornography, for example. I'm much happier to have my hot Asian over-50s streamed from the cloud rather than kept on memory sticks, to be hidden in the shed.

But backing up valuable family pics? No, I don't want Google snooping round my holiday to Anglesey. And I want to be able to access pictures of my freezing cold children on said holiday even if I'm in a tunnel with no signal. 

Ultimately, who needs to back up on the cloud, when you can get a 500GB external hard drive for £50?

And I reckon the ownership habit is harder to kick than many thought. In fact, this week eMusic revealed that 92 per cent of people prefer ownership of music over any other method, with unlimited playback and security the main reasons why. The results were largely the same whether a hardcore or casual music fan.

For me, all this excitement over the cloud will dissipate like so many other over-hyped tech crazes. Some services will endure, but it won't be the ubiquitous habit we're all being sold.

Mind you, I could do with a bigger shed to store my memory sticks.