Why should I opt in to a mobile ad service when I can't even be bothered to peel an orange?
I read recently that sales of oranges are declining because we can't be bothered to peel them anymore.
It's such a faff having to open the damned fruit, and then there's the question of what to do with the peel and pips, not to mention the very real danger of juice spillage.
These are serious issues, and it's no wonder so many of us are turning to the safer and less arduous fruit methodology offered by the apple, banana and (seedless) grape - although in the latter case you can often get a little bit of stalk left on the fruit after you've detached it, which can really ruin your day.
The sheer selfishness of many of our previously cherished fruits is a problem.
It risks preventing us from completing urgent tasks such as watching children being bitten on YouTube or, indeed, tweeting about the uselessness of oranges.
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We lead such busy lives.
Seriously, though, we do have so many options these days that it's almost impossible to get anyone's attention for long. I was cogitating on this at the launch of Alcatel-Lucent's new advertising platform this week.
Alcatel-Lucent is targeting operators with its system, which networks can use to send targeted ad messages – more like direct marketing actually – to opted-in subscribers.
Yes, it is a little like the Blyk idea.
Now, I've no doubt the platform works well. And I do buy the hype that well-constructed ad messages can be welcomed by some recipients when they are properly targeted; if you love Puma trainers, you might like being offered 20 per cent off a limited edition pair.
Surely the big hump is getting people to sign up in the first place. Take me. I can't think of anything that would get me to opt in to an O2 ad scheme, unless it was something ridiculous like a free yacht.
And even then, what kind of yacht is it? A red one? God, no thanks.
But, OK, let's say I do sign up and I start to get messages about Spurs, weird jazz, Nordic film and cycling. What would it take for me to respond? 20 per cent off cinema admission? Mmm, not sure I can be arsed.
Of course, this affluent ennui is not shared by everyone. There are swathes of younger and frankly poorer mobile users that would opt-in for a few extra texts. But, as Blyk found, this is not necessarily the audience that advertisers are seeking.
Alcatel-Lucent assured me that it's all about being imaginative, and that there are ways of engaging with all users if the outreach is creative enough.
They may be right.
I'd tell you more, but by that point I was thinking about oranges, and getting a bit worked up.
