The unstoppable rise of mobile has not benefited everybody. Alarm clock makers? I bet they hate mobile phones. But what about the good stuff? The people in emerging markets who can make micro-payments to each other? Who could argue against that?

And, now, we hear that mobile is doing wonders for the adultery industry. Research by rightmobilephone.co.uk this week found that over half of those who checked had found “evidence” of infidelity their partner’s phone in the form of a text or picture.

Fantastic news. If there was an adulterers' trade association – and there bloody should be – its spokesperson would surely say: "I'm delighted that we're working with mobile to improve infidelity rates, but to be honest I've been seeing other forms of new media behind mobile's back. Don't tell anyone."

Obviously mobile offers unmissable opportunities for the committed adulterer to call and text the object of their forbidden lust in secret. And since the advent of camera phones, you can even keep footage of your sordid coupling to be watched later or sold via the internet (depending on the extent of your celebrity).

It's all very different from when I was a single man, I had to call the stunner who would later become Mrs Green on a 'landline' and if I wanted a pic I had to turn up with a camera, send the film off to Boots and wait 48 hours.

I've never tried adultery, and to be honest I hear mixed reports, but if I did I would invest in a 'shag phone', which I also learned about for the first time this week.

This is a pre-pay phone purchased for the sole reason of communicating with your partner in shame. With a shag phone, there's no need to password protect your main phone or frantically delete sent messages – all of which alerts the suspicious spouse.

Of course, you mustn't let them find the phone. Then you're really screwed.

But it occurs to me that there's a business opportunity here for operators and OEMs:

"I'd like a phone please."
"What sort of services are you interested in?"
"Adultery."
"Ah, then you should try our LG Philanderer. It comes with 600 minutes, 300 of them illicit."
"Er, actually it's my wife that's playing away."
"Oh, in that case, try the Samsung Cuckold. You get a free pair of bluetooth horns with it."
"Wrap it up!"